If you’re following our ADF protocol, hopefully you planned ahead and made sure that Christmas falls on a feeding day. If not, you’re out of luck. A good selection of board games should help you struggle through as your family celebrate and feast on wonderful food and indulgent treats the whole day. If anyone asks you why you’re not taking part, tell them that you’re suffering from some undiagnosed stomach complaint to avoid any awkwardness. Hopefully they’ll leave some food for you to enjoy on Boxing Day!
We do recommend you follow a PSMF (Present Sparing Modified Fast): skip breakfast and only consume trace calories from wrapping paper as you tear it open with your teeth. Wait until 12-16 hours after your last meal before breaking the fast (Christmas dinner takes ages to prepare anyway).
We’ll assume that you’re training at about 4-6pm. Ensure that whoever is responsible for cooking the Christmas dinner has it ready by about 3pm, you need adequate nutrition before training. Dominate the turkey and other protein sources. Load up on green vegetables too, but try to keep total carbs below 30g.
When you’re finished, make your excuses and go train. If anyone attempts to start a conversation with you, pretend that you have to go check your car or something (if you don’t have a car, tell them it’s someone else’s car you’re checking). You should be just in time for dessert. If there is any leftover turkey, this is yours. Load it up with cranberry sauce, wrap it around some potatoes, and start your backload. Move on to the desserts as quickly as possible. Frozen or chilled treats are ideal, since they may contribute to cold-activated thermogenesis. Again, avoid awkward conversations by ensuring that your mouth is always full of food.
Naturally, you’ll want to perform an intensive, full-body, glycogen depleting workout to ensure you get the most from your Christmas dinner. Here’s what we recommend:
Front squat – 5 sets of 10-12
Leg press – 5 sets of 12-15
Bench press – 5 sets of 8-10
Incline DB bench press – 5 sets of 12-15
Military press – 5 sets of 8-10
Seated DB press – 5 sets of 12-15
Barbell rows – 5 sets of 8-10
DB pullovers – 5 sets of 10-12
Tricep dips – 3 sets of 8-12
Tricep kickbacks – 3 sets of 12-15
Barbell curls – 3 sets of 8-12
Seated incline DB curls – 3 sets of 12-15
Repeat this 3-4 times (or until you get kicked out of your gym because it’s Christmas and the staff all want to go home). What if your gym is closed? How do you satisfy your obsessive need to train? Don’t worry! We’ve got some practical suggestions for you:
- Sled work (drags, pulls, pushes). Use small relatives for loading.
- Cracker pulls. Try to dominate the cracker, use the bodyweight of the other person for loading (elderly relatives may not be suitable for this movement).
- Overhead Christmas decoration pressing. Try to use the heaviest baubles available.
- Tinsle dips. Use these to add accomodating resistance.