Here’s the ultimate guide to surviving the Christmas period. You’ve been worrying about it for weeks now; how will you deal with the mountains of food, the drinking, and the awful television? You don’t want to end up looking like these guys…

Don’t panic. Follow these simple steps to maintain that physique you’ve worked so hard to perfect during the rest of the year:

– Do a bit of fasted walking while you wait for your turkey to cook.

– Take advantage of the thermogenic effect of alcohol. [1]

– Engage in a snowball fight if there is snow, try and press the snowballs explosively to activate more high-threshold motor units. [3]

– Unwrap your presents as explosively as possible too. If your family has been very generous this year, make sure you auto-regulate your training volume and leave some presents for later. [3]

– Pulling crackers is an excellent eccentricless rowing movement, use this to your advantage and increase your training volume without exceeding your capacity to recover. Maintain scapular retraction at all times for optimal shoulder health.

– Old films are catabolic. Repeats of Only Fools and Horses decrease net protein synthesis, do not watch them. [2]

Relax, ENJOY your Christmas.

Unless you are preparing for a physique competition, you should not worry about your diet or training. Be realistic, two days of the year will not ruin your progress! If you feel guilty, or you just want to pig out but can’t justify it to yourself, follow some simple steps:

– Train on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day if you have gym access, or equipment at home.

– Go for a fasted walk in the snow (if there is any)!

– Load up on protein, there will be loads of turkey and other meat for you to feast on. Move on to vegetables, and save your sweets and chocolates for later, when you will feel more satiated.

– Don’t go crazy with alcohol. It’s not a good look to be drunk in front of your family anyway.

– Eat most of your carbs in the evening.

(c) Toni Kaarttinen - http://www.flickr.com/photos/tonikaarttinen/

Merry Christmas from the Editors of PropaneFitness!

References

[1] Effect of ethanol on energy expenditure – http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8184963

[2] Effects of British sitcoms on postexercise net protein synthesis in human muscle – http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1235813/

[3] Recruitment of high-threshold human motor units in humans wearing Christmas jumpers – http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9664531/

 

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6 responses to “How to Stay Lean and Gain Muscle at Christmas

  1. But I can’t help but watch repeats of Only Fools and Horses. The part where Del Boy falls through the bar is the funniest thing ever on television.

    And then Trigger made a face.

  2. Paul said:
    But I can’t help but watch repeats of Only Fools and Horses. The part where Del Boy falls through the bar is the funniest thing ever on television.

    And then Trigger made a face.

    AND IT WAS THE FUNNIEST THING THERE’S EVER BEEN!

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